I'm scared

Engkau tidak semulia Khadijah, tidak sebijak Aisyah, bukan secantik Zulaikha, tidak setabah Siti Hajar dan bukan sesufi Rabiatul`Adawiyyah.., namun percaya dan yakinlah, engkau layak menjejaki lorong itu jika kemahuan ada di hati...

You're my sunshine....My only sunshine...You make me happy when skies are gray...You never know dear...How much I love you...Please don't take my sunshine away...They other night dear, as I lay sleeping...I dreamed I held you in my arms...When I awoke dear...I was mistaken...And I hung my head and cried...You are my sunshine...My only sunshine...You make me happy when skies are gray..You never know dear...How much I love you...Please don't take my sunshine away...

Song that keep playing in mind at this very moment...I was so stressed out last night and the moment I took my phone to call him (like I usually did before...), I was to realize that he's no longer there for me...How am I going to get through everything without that 'someone' to listen me (babbling, crapping, talk all nonsense,comfort me,motivate me or melayan kegilaan gue?) MICPA is coming soon and well, I bet I'll be even worst than this...Sighhh~~~I guess I have everything that I want for 2005, achieved it with flying colors without knowing that at the end, I have to forgo him... (Not regreting that I'm back single but too scared to know that there's no one to listen to me anymore...Someone that I can call 24/7 or at least SMS whenever I stress...) Things aren't always what they seem to be...

Besides, Mr.WongAhBeng said (according to his latest entry in his blogspot..), there are 7 ways on how you can get rid of this big mess (of being dump by him/her) and one of it is "LUAHKAH PERASAAN DI INTERNET, IT HELPS"...Well, in every sense I guess it's true...Dia kate begini (I quote u Mr. WongAhBeng...),

Sekalang zaman hightech. Luangkan lebih masa berinternet. Abandon your real friends. Who needs them when u have cyber friends. Chattinglah bersama lakan-lakan online anda mengenai lu punya masalah. Mengadulah kepada meleka how your heart was broken, and how much your feelings have been hurted. Meleka pasti akan sedia melayan lu 24 x 7.(Hahahaha, just like the story of Professor Cool with his Speciment Cacats! Tongue )

Chat friends are kool (Yeahhh, totally cool!). Not only u dont know them, they also dont have lives of their own that they can spend hours online just untuk memberikan kata2 semangat motivasi kepada lu (Aiyak? They don't have live ker?? I don't think the same goes with mine....). Setiap kali chatting, pastikan lu borak mengenai perkara yang sama berulang-ulang kali: how much u are hurted. Probably they'll repeat the same thing pujuk2 lu kasik motivasi. But that's ok becos u just want somebody to talk too...24 x 7 (definitely true! He gave me songs which my ex never give me before...Sighhh~~)same topic...again...and again..

I did these whole lot of test and the results....

: : What Type of Beauty are You? : :

You're naturally beauty. Kind of every beauty that every guy dreams about. One that looks good in the morning without stich of make up. That doesn't mean you're a total hippie chic though. You have style but for you style is worthless.... (Aiyak, this is totally not me..! Mengikut policy genies, I can't have both GENIES + BEAUTY...It has to be either one and I go for geniess...Sighh~~)

: : What Color Rose are You? : :

Light pink rose. You represent sweetness and grace. Your vibe, kind and gentle...Falling in love with you is like falling in love with bestfriend... (If I'm sweet, then why he keeps saying "you're no longer sweet to me?"...Bygones be bygones...)

: : What Kind of Girl are You? : :

You're a brainy girl! Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books! (Finally its true!!) You know a little bit of everything and you're always dying to know more...For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interest (waahhh! benar skalik nih! Not genies but smart..Like nothing freaks me more than a guy who smarter than me..Hihihi) A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either! (I loikesss!! Is there such a guy like that for me?)

: : What Do Guys Like About You? : :

Like that you're sensetive. And not in that "cry at a drop of hat" sort of way..You just get most guys even you're not trying to. Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secrets... (Really?? I'm a good secret keeper kan? hihihi) No wonder you tend to close quickly in a relationship... (Suke gue!)

: : What Scent are You? : :

Rose. Delicate, feminine and soft (fragile juge!) Your personality is fresh and understated (I guess so..)

: : What Kind of Chocolate are You? : :

Milk Chocolate. A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds. You often think of the future (sangat!) and you are always working towards your ideal life... Wink Also nostelgic, you rarely forget meaningful moment, even those from long ago...

: : How Do Men See You? : :

Men see you as understated. You are an interguing of girl and woman. You're feminine, quiet (daaaa??) and total mystery to most man..Yet they often feel the urge to protect you, even if they don't know you.. (Really? Can someone answer me for this plisss? ) You're a flirt, but usually with those that you know well... (Hahahhahah!! It's so me!)

: : What's Your Reputation? : :

Shy Girl. You've done pretty well in keeping your reputation protected. Problem is, no one really knows who you are... (So do I..)

: : What's Your Ideal Marriage Proposal? : :

After dinner at your favourite restaurant, at the spot where you first kissed.. (What if never been kissed?)

: : What Flower are You? : :

Carnation. You are down to earth and grounded. You tend to be more traditional than trendy (Absolutely correct!) Your confidence gets you through everything... (Errrkkk) People trust you and very loyal to you... (Mungkin tidak)

: : How Girlie are You? : :

You're a tomboy! (It was a very long time ago...Way back in MRSM yer la kot!) You're having too much fun to bother with nail polish and crazy diets...Guys are instead impressed by how much you know and do!

: : How Well Do You Understand Men? : :

You have your PhD in men! (hahahahhahah!!) You understand men almost better than anyone. You accept that guys are very different and you read signals well. Work about what you know about men, and your relationship will be blissful.... (Ngeeee~~)

: : Are You a Good Girlfriend? : :

You are a great girlfriend... (Waaaa!!!) When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful...But also haven't stopped thinking of yourself...You're the perfect blend of independent and caring (then why he dumps me?) You're a total catch, make sure your guy knows it too... (too late to know it...)

: : Where Will You Find Love? : :

You'll find love online... (What???) Dating in mearspace is way too complicated and time consuming for you.

: : Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend? : :

Because you are too shy...When a guy gets to know you, he finds a great catch. Problem is, you are too shy for most guys to get to know. For meeting someone to dating, you usually have your guard up. And while you're just holding back, it makes you seem like you've got something to hide..

: : Is He into You? : :

Hmm...He's Maybe Interested...He seems to be giving you mixed or muted signals...Which may mean you've been giving him the wrong messages. When he pauses to notice you, give him a little more attention. A little encouragement may go a long way with this guy! (Wink!! Wink!!)

: : What Sign Should You Date? : :

You should be with an air sign... (Anyone out there? Hihihihi...) Because you crave excitement and playful. Only air sign can match your wit - and keep on your toes.

: : When will You Meet Your Next Boyfriend? : :

You'll find a boyfriend within a year...Either you're not ready for a relationship or you're not quite ready to leave your house. You can't meet a guy from your couch, so consider at least meeting one them from your computer... (Whatt???)


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