What do you think of Tiger Mother?

June 08, 2011

to Read (

Words)

Advertorial entry for 48 hours. Scroll down for latest entry. :)

Mommies, have you ever heard of "Tiger Mother?" What a very roarrr term right?

And if you haven't, I believe many of you have this image of a tigress in your head kan? Because I did. Hahaha!

Frankly speaking, I have never heard of such a term until I came across this debatable topic being discussed on Friso Growing Up Together Facebook page. In fact, if you had a chance to read this well known book written by Amy Chua titled "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother", I believed you will come across several points that you may or may not agree with the author herself. Read here for more info on her controversial book. Good book tho and fair enough, she has her own points on raising kids well. Different cultures different methods, so why not we take what is best to fit our needs.

Because Tiger Mother as opposed to Western Mother, they tend to have full control and sole discretion over the destiny of their child, holding strict to the principle that mommy-knows-best. Quite a hot and debatable issue right? Well yeah as you can find opinions, ideas and says by mommies being voiced out on Friso Growing Up Together Facebook page. You know, like topics on education vs curricular activities, push, reward and punish methods and more on parenting styles of modern parents nowadays.

But personally, from my very own view, I don't quite like and agree with this Tiger Mother parenting style. The world has evolved very much from what it was many years ago. Kids are more open in voicing up their ideas and opinions, hence, not listening to them could actually lower down the communication process between parent and kid (because well u said mommy-knows-best). Remember, tiger? Strength and power, fear and respect? And for me, I always want my kids to come and share things with me no matter how bad the situation is, and I want them to know that Mama will always have a solution for you. Whether you like it or not, that's a different matter altogether.

But for a Tiger Mother, or in this matter like Amy Chua, she raised a flag and said NO to all sleepovers, play dates, school plays, extra curricular activities and that kids MUST excel well in class with no less than an A grade and MUST master the skills to play musical instruments. So here comes another debatable issue on the Friso Growing Up Together Facebook page on whether or not the success of your kids be measured solely on educational factor. That's a very subjective matter right?

I agree that education should always remain the top priority but several other factors should be taken into consideration too. Like how the kids mingle around with others, how the kids learn to adapt to their environment and surroundings, how they explore their world and many more.

However, to a certain degree, I still want to remain strict with my kids especially on those non tolerable serious misbehaviors like cheating, lying, stealing, being rude and disrespectful to others. But of course for other things like activities and kids interests, that doesn't come close to being one like Chinese mothers.

Do you know that Tiger Mother parenting style practices on things like;

Schoolwork always come first.
A minus (A-) is a BAD grade. Come on? I would be more than happy if my kids can score B+ and above. Of course A+ is a bonus for Mama to be happy for days. :)
Children must be TWO years ahead from classmates in MATH. So much pressure eyh?
NEVER compliment kids in public. Seriously, to me this is totally ridiculous! I compliment my kids a lot whether or not in public because it helps very much to develop my kids' self esteem. I can see that a lot in Adam Haris.
If child ever disagrees with teacher in school, mother should always the side of teacher. Ok fine, in this matter I would prefer to listen and take a look at both parties views. Our kids might be at fault too kan?
The only activities that children should be permitted to are those which they can win a MEDAL
and the medal MUST be GOLD! Oh my God, those kids must be raised under so much pressure lah I rasa. -___-"

Seriously I don't have the heart to put so much pressure on my kids like Tiger Mothers do. But like what I said before, certain degree of strictness and discipline should be imposed but I am no where close to being a Tiger Mother. Worried that my kids will be rebellious someday. But well, you may have different opinions from mine and I believe that every parent has a high expectation towards their kids, but how we put it into practice varies.

Of course I demand a total respect from my kids, want them to excel well in education, expect them to master certain skills like playing musical instruments or swimming or horse riding and etc but at the same time, I'm willing to adjust and give themselves some space and time to enjoy their childhood with play dates, sleepovers (boys got one meh?), outdoor activities, movies and whatnot. There are things that I will draw a strict line for which my kids will have to adhere but there are things that I will be open and willing to adjust to fit the needs.

So what's your parenting style? Are you close to being a Tiger Mother? Rawrrrr! like that? And don't forget to visit Tiger Mother FB Discussion page to check on what other parents are saying :)

But hey, sometimes I'm a Tiger Mother *literally* when situations like "Shit-My-Kids-Ruined" happened. Occasionally. :P